Tried to download some videos, but was having problems...did not intend for the following to be as lengthy as it was, just some thoughts that are heavy on my heart.
Thanks in advance for letting me ramble...I don't do that very often. Hopefully you will be encouraged or at least challenged to think/see things differently.

Yesterday I volunteered in Jbird's kindergarten classroom. Just could not fathom, looking at that classroom of 17 kids, how anyone could take the life of a small child. Knowing that just that morning, a man in Connecticut had walked into a classroom just like his and did just that. There is no understanding, our minds are not created to understand or make sense of this.

All I can do is continue to trust that God is in control. I don't get it and that is okay. I do not control the universe and personally, I am glad for that. God does and why did God allow a senseless act like this, I have not the faintest idea. Did He cause it, no, the evil in this world did. But for reasons I cannot see, He did allow it. Yes, I believe He could have stopped it, but did not. Does that make Him any less loving, no, it does not. (Even typing that I can not fully wrap my mind around it, but I will continue to go on trusting in His sovereignty and just ways.) Does that lessen the hurt for the grieving families, absolutely not. I just pray that they draw upon the only One that can get a family through something like this.

I do know that regardless of whether I drop my kids off at school, take them to a movie, the library, a sporting event or even in the comforts of our own home, I cannot ultimately protect them from the evil of this world. That is why I am continually praying a hedge of protection around them...spiritually then physically. (Yes, I believe the spiritual battle is a much greater battle than the physical battle.)

I always find it interesting when things like this happen, everyone is so quick to start asking questions and how could God allow something like this to happen. I feel so strongly that we as a nation are removing God from so many areas...schools, government, events, etc. What we need is not gun control laws, what we need is for our country to again realize how precious life is and Who gives that life. There are so many instances where life is 'cheapened' from the unborn all the way up to the elderly. We don't value life like we use to and it is starting to seep into the corners of our fabric. Generations are being raised without a moral compass. What do we expect, that we can continually turn our back on God and then expect His hand of mercy and grace.

Yet, we see it over and over again, in the Old Testament. God's people turn their back on God, things deteriorate, they repent, things look up, they turn their back and the cycle continues. Because God is a loving God, but He is also a just God. I have heard it said that How can a loving God send someone to hell...my question, is how can a just God send everyone to Heaven. He will not force our hand. We either choose Him or not and if we choose not to choose Him, then we need to be prepared for whatever consequences could come our way (and yes, I do believe that the ultimate consequence is a life lived separated from God = Hell).

Sovereignty again, who understands it. Why did God send His only Son to live on this fallen world. Would you give up your son or daughter for a world that would curse Your name...? Yes, in just over a week, we will celebrate just that, the birth of Christ. As we are privileged to have the whole picture, knowing that in just 33 short years, Christ's life would come to the end, at the hand of evil. Yet, who can explain why a God would do that...my only answer, a God that loves beyond comprehension. Even as a parent, I don't get it, but that is okay, God did not create my mind to fathom all of that.

In the days and weeks to come, I will pray for the families that lost loved ones, including the family of the killer. Yes, they lost a child/brother too and cannot imagine the scars, emotions and maybe guilt that they will forever carry. I pray that they fall upon the One and only One that can give peace that passes all understanding. That is what I hold onto through the difficult times in life, because He is weaving a tapestry in my life that I can't see or comprehend. I only see the here and now, not the finished product. And I trust him with the finished product so I need to trust Him with the daily details (good or bad) too.